Boys Don't Cry
by Faye My Funny Valentine
Summary: Duo recalls some things in his life in an e-mail


Ahh! =^_^= Since you guys dug "My Mistake" so much, I figured I'd give yas another serious fic to read! =^.^= This one's about my second favorite pilot, Duo! (If you don't know who my *first* favorite is, then SHAME ON YOU! *coughtrowacough*) This is my first story done in this paticular style. If it's kinda confusing, I'm sorry! I'll clear it up at the end, promise!!!  
  
Disclaimer: Gundam Wing does not belong to me, and it never will. I'm not stealing these characters, just borrowing them for a little while. *wink*  
  
Warnings: Language. *shrugs*   
  
Geez! Well, now that I've said my peace, read, review(no flames now, be nice!), and enjoy! =^.^=  
  
"Boys Don't Cry"(For Lack Of a Better Title)  
by Shinigami Baby  
  
  
4:47 AM 08/04/AC 199  
  
It wasn't my intention to hurt Hirde. She's a really great friend. But that's just it. A friend. I tried to be attracted to her, I really did. But somethings you just can't fight. And I was fighting a losing battle.  
  
  
~*AC 198*~  
  
"Duo, I'm home..." Hirde called from downstairs as she walked into our small apartment. "Get your ass down here and help me with these groceries!"  
  
'Of all the times, she's gotta interrupt me while I'm watching my show...' "Comiiiing!" I called to her from our bedroom.  
  
Yes. OUR bedroom. Hirde and I had moved in together after the war. The apartment was small and only had one bedroom. No, not the same bed you pervs! We had *separate* beds.   
  
I got off my bed and shut the TV off. 'Passions'[1] would just have to wait. I headed down the narrow hallway and into the kitchen where Hirde was putting stuff into the fridge. Digging through the bags, I found out why Hirde was my best friend.  
  
"Ahhh! You got me Pocky!" I exclaimed. I quickly hugged her and kissed her cheek. "You're a goddess, Hirde!!!"  
  
Hirde blushed. "It's just Pocky, Duo."  
  
I held the package out in front of myself. "Do you *know* how long it's been since I had Pocky!?"  
  
She shook her head. Girls just didn't get it.  
  
"When I was in Japan during the war! That's how long! Heero had some stashed under his bed and I took it... my life changed forever that day..." I added wistfully. Hey, I love Pocky, what can I say?  
  
Hirde shook her head. "You'd think you loved Pocky more than you loved me."  
  
Oh yeah, that... well, you see, after the war ended, I kinda told Hirde that I loved her. I wasn't totally lying! I *do* love her. But it's a Trowa/Catherine kinda love... well maybe not that close. We're not brother-sisterish, it's more like a... shit, lemme think for a sec....... Ah! It's more like a "You're my best friend in the whole wide universe but I'll never sleep with you because I'm gay" kinda love.  
  
Did Hirde know I was gay? No. I know I was being unfair, but I didn't want to leave her alone. This was for her more than it was for me... well, maybe not.  
  
"Ahh, you know I love ya, babes." I said casually, putting some groceries in the cabinet over the stove. Then I felt her arms wrap around me from behind and her head rest on my back.  
  
"What do you want to do tonight, Duo?" She asked me.  
  
"I dunno. I was thinking of just staying in tonight. Why? Do you wanna go out?" I asked.  
  
"Well, we never go anywhere anymore. I was thinking of going out to eat."  
  
I patted my stomach. "Sounds fine to me, kid."  
  
"Great! I'll go get ready!" She let go of me and ran up to our room to get dressed.  
  
I sighed and leaned against the fridge. This isn't fair to her. 'I'll tell her tonight.' I thought to myself.   
  
  
"Ahh... Dinner was great." Hirde said as we walked home.  
  
I nodded. Nope. I still hadn't told her. This was killing me.  
  
"You're awfully quiet tonight." She poked me playfully in my stomach. "Something on your mind?"  
  
"Kinda." I answered.  
  
"Well, what is it?"  
  
I stopped walking and rested my hands on Hirde's shoulders. 'I'll try just one more time and see if it happens this time...' I thought as I leaned in to kiss her.  
  
*It* didn't happen. I still wasn't attracted to her. I didn't get the same feeling as when I had kissed Heero almost 3 years ago.  
  
I broke the kiss after I realized it wasn't going to happen. I'd tried so hard, and still I couldn't bring myself to love Hirde the way she wanted me to. It killed me inside to have to hurt her, but I had to. It wasn't fair for either of us. And looking in her eyes that night, I could tell she knew it.  
  
"Duo..."  
  
"I'm so sorry." I held back the tears. I was about to hurt my best friend. 'Boys don't cry' I reminded myself, but there was no stopping them. I fell to my knees and hugged her around her waist, the side of my head pressed against her stomach. I could feel her hands in my hair, trying to comfort me, but it just wasn't working. And then I spilled it. Right there infront of everyone on the sidewalk.  
  
"Hirde, I never wanted to hurt you. You're one of the most important people in my life, but I can't love you the way you need me to." I clung to her tighter, thinking I was about to lose the best friend I ever had. I at least wanted to feel her in my arms one more time.  
  
A hand reached down and wiped my tear-streaked cheek. "Duo... it's okay. Come on, we'll go home and talk about this." She helped me stand up and we walked the rest of the way home.  
  
Once we were inside, I told her all about how I had felt about Heero during the war, and how I had liked other boys before him. She was quite surprised that I even *liked* Heero. I thought I was pretty obvious with my feelings toward the guy, but I guess not... I'm not obvious like you, QUATRE, geez! Think about it, how would Heero feel if I just sauntered up to him one day and said "Oh by the way Heero, Sukidakara yo[2]." He'd freak.  
  
I told her I was over Heero though. Well... I kinda *had* to be over him, considering that he was married now. And I know what you're thinking, and it's not HER. Thank God. No, Heero married Sylvia Noventa. Was I surprised? Heh. Not as surprised as a certain Queen of the World was. But hey, shit happens. At least I could give him my honest blessing. He looked really happy, so that made me happy.  
  
"And you thought I'd hate you for this? Duo, you can't help how you feel." Hirde said, patting my shoulder.  
  
"You're not mad then?" I asked hopefully.  
  
She shook her head, smiling. "No, Duo."  
  
I hugged her. Yeah. This was a Trowa/Catherine, brother/sister-ish kinda love. We were both really happy now. And no more lies.  
  
  
"Duo, are you *still* up?" Wufei asked from the bed across the room.  
  
"I'm almost done, koi." Duo said, typing quickly. "Just gotta finish this e-mail so Quatre doesn't have a heart-attack, then I'll come to bed."  
  
"Hurry up, I'm cold."   
  
"Yeah, yeah." Duo said, finishing his typing.  
  
  
Hirde had moved on since then, she even got married. I'm really happy for her. Even though I don't like the guy much. Ah well, I'm just protective I guess. Well, I'd better get some sleep before Wuffy drags me to bed by my braid... not that I'd care, mind you. ;)  
  
Be good and tell Trowa I said "Oi". Don't over-exert yourselves with that adoption thing either, Quat. I know you two like kids, but isn't 12 enough? Geez. Well, I'm tired, Wuffy's getting pissy so I'd better get my ass to bed. Ja!  
  
~Duo Chang  
  
P.S. ^^Doesn't that just sound sooo good?  
  
  
Duo grinned as he typed the last sentence and hit the 'send' button.   
  
  
END  
  
Notes:  
  
1- Yes, 'Passions'! I can't help it. I love this soap opera, it's just too addictive, and I'm a HUGE Timmy fan!!! =^.^=  
  
2- "Sukidakara yo" roughly translated means "I have a crush on you." (At least I think it does... *consults her "It's Just Love" Lyrics*... yeah, I'm almost positive it does)  
  
Also, if you guys were confused, this fic was Duo writing an e-mail to Quatre. I snuck the little 2x5 pairing in cuz... well, because I like it! =^_^= Almost as much as 3x4 (and that's a LOT!) Yes, 2x5 is non-cannon, but who cares! I think they look cute together!  
  
Lemme know what you guys think, but be nice about it, okay?  
  
~Shinigami Baby 


End file.
